[09 Feb 2005|12:19pm] "(So we're) Back where we've been. A waste of time, we would love to waste again. Even if september never seem to come so fast, and good things never seem to last. We're old enough to know whats wrong. " All you needed was a change of pace to pull yourself out of this self inflicted hell. Are you waking up? Because I can see eyes slowly getting wide. Still sleepy but ready to turn their back on sleeping spells. You've made it this far. Weathered the storm with a few cuts to heal. Once so tall, so straight, now just trying to find some solid ground. You once took that for granted. How does it feel without clouded mind, and clear white eyes? have another.

[22 Jan 2005|04:32pm] This ship is sinking fast. I've tried to keep it afloat, but I couldnt do it alone. I've grown tired, wearied and sick. Maybe if you had tried to solve the problem, and not become its allie. I can see the light house, I just never thought I'd be reaching it alone. have another.

and the crows gather round [22 May 2004|08:30am] [ mood | wondering ] [ music | Wayfarer.....we were good, to bad good things must end ] Im just waiting. Maybe Jamie can get me a job where she works and that would be good for a while. After all for 2 years I have been bitching how much I want to leave corpus. Maybe this is a good time to just go , earn some cash working to bring back. I also cant wait to go on tour with Day At The Fair. even though its not my band playing. It is shows everynight, and being part of those shows. maybe even filling in on guitar or bass when they guys feel like it. I know I want to start college in August. Ill get that all worked out. for now I see myself following which ever direction I'm pointed in. Dont care where it takes me, good or bad, I will learn from it. eh no clue. I don't want to lose lexi though. Its 3 weeks now, a short time, but she does mean a lot to me. =o/ I will get this worked out in all due time. 3 pills so have another.

[16 Apr 2004|02:22am] I'm tired, and realized I have constantly felt like im about to break, because I already have. My time here is spent. My bands direction? fuck I dont think we know. I used to have this theory....." if its ment to be, you shouldn't have to make it work, or force anything. If you have to make it work, and you have to try more than twice, maybe it isnt ment to be and better left alone." I dont want to lose any of these guys as friends. I don't want to lose this band, but fuck no one is saying anything. This is ALL I HAVE going for me, and ALL I WANT TO DO. I can't afford to stand still for as long as I have. If they are with me it will mean so much more, but if they aren't I have to do this. My sleeping habbit scare me. Its pathetic when double the intended amount of the strongest sleeping pills (Rx) dont work on you. I keep getting more distance with some long time close friends, and I dont know how to stop it....You bottle things inside. Hopes, Fears, Worries. You don't tell a fucking soul. This is the cause of Wars, Insanity, Suicide, Music, Art, Novels, Poets, ect... Funny how just thought. Something no one else knows goes through someone elses mind, can cause things that inspire, bring sorrow, cause change, make some go mad, or instill a drive within a heart that couldnt be stopped even if it caused the heart to explode. Funny, just thoughts and words. 1 pills so have another.

[24 Jan 2004|07:09am] Today has left me with the weirdest feeling in my gut. I can't figure out if Im sad or not. I know I'm shocked. I just have this weird feeling in my gut that I cant explain, but I know I don't like it. This timing was perfect with the confusion I have goin on. I really just want to lay down and sleep for 12 hours, but something doesn't want that, because I can't sleep. I would really like having someone to miss. I almost had the feeling I missed her then realized she doesnt deserve that kind of attention. I just miss the feelings she gave to me. I miss someone doing that to me, and it hasnt happened since her. I would really like those memories to form with someone new. I cant wait for us to play shows. The feeling I get from that is one of the best feelings. Losing yourself for 20 or 30 minutes in music is still best feelings. I want to help write the next song. I've got quiet a few things to say. fuck it, im gonna go watch tv. Goodmorning. have another.

[20 Jan 2004|04:38am] This is Matt Morris.....Im jamming Our Finest Hour. 1 pills so have another.

[03 Jan 2004|10:16am] I've got things left to say, but you're out the door. 10 seconds to much to ask. So I hear you're keeping better company? Its ok, not like I expected nights wrapped up in each other to last. I could have been....something you'll never let me be. pack up, move on, I've done this before. Tear the pictures off your wall of this time last year. Its true that we don't need this, But I'll admit my bed liked the company. So nothing changed, Did you mean a word of this. To late its over, Forget I asked you to stay. So take your time. I won't build up hopes. I'm Tired of eyes that wont sleep. My apologies for thinking I could be something you would want. Something that could've treated you better than any other thing. So nothing changed, Did you mean a word of this. To late its over, Forget I asked you to stay. 2 pills so have another.

[30 Dec 2003|03:20pm] I swear to god I would take care of you. As if that could keep you here. I've been lying to myself, convencing that its not me, its you that has changed. Why leave when you know I would pull teeth, if you asked for one to never forget me. have another.

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